The Redneck
by John C. Kelly
Mr Lydell walks into his classroom at Ochlockochopicola (O'Clock-O'Chop-A'Cola) High School with few expectations for his “Introduction to Business” summer school class, which he has presented with few changes for eleven years straight. He begins in his usual way by asking the students to introduce themselves as they might in a business environment. In some meager attempt at catching his students off guard, he begins in the back of the room.
She is sitting in the front row and is the last to speak.
“My name is Sally Jean Trueblood. I’m interested in business because someday I want to own my own poultry processing plant,” she says, sitting erect in her blue skirt with a white blouse buttoned at the neck.
Mr Lydell tries to imagine this girl, with glossy red lipstick and skin as smooth as a spring magnolia petal, chopping the heads off chickens, though her red fingernails do remind him of large drops of blood.
“Welcome everyone. My name is Mr Lydell. It's a pleasure to meet you all, and I look forward to a stimulating semester,” he says.
As Sally Jean crosses her legs, her skirt hikes up her thigh revealing slender but muscular legs. She notices him noticing but doesn’t turn away when their eyes meet. He swallows, suddenly his canned lecture seems insignificant.
Later that evening at the dinner table Mr. Lydell’s wife asks: “Any interesting students in your class today?”
“Just some redneck who wants to start a chicken farm,” he replies, failing to look up from his newspaper.